Sky's the Limit

Man, those call centres are frustrating. I have absolutely no problem with a multicultural and multiracial society, or indeed a global economy. But do we really have to outsource call-centres where the staff don't have a strong enough understanding of the customers' language - come on guys, it's just not acceptable.

I have just spent the best part of an hour on the phone to Sky, trying to resolve an issue with my direct debit that they had caused. This has been going on for six months! It turns out that the reason for the problem, that I have finally been told [thank you, Chris, who spoke perfect English and was in their London call centre] is that you can not set up a direct debit for a joint account over the phone.

So the first 40 minutes were spent firstly getting nowhere with two operatives who's first language was not English who advised that I keep calling back 'until I get through to someone in the UK.' Really? After four attempts, step in Google search, which happily located the following.

Hallelujah

TELEPHONE CHEAT CODES FOR MAJOR COMPANIES

Company Phone number

PRESS <0> <#> IN QUICK SUCCESSION

Alliance & Leicester 0870 9011001
American Express 01273 576576
Bank of Scotland 0845 7213141
Barclays 0845 7555555
BUPA 0845 6090111
Capital One 0800 9525150
Comet 0870 542 5425
Dell 0870 152 4699
DHL 0870 1100300
DVLA 0870 240009
Egg 0845 1233233
Goldfish 0141 2049005
Halifax 0845 7203040
HSBC 0845 7404404
Lloyds TSB 0800 0969779
NatWest 0870 3331993
NHS Direct 0845 4647
O2 0870 2410202
PC World 0870 2420444
Royal Mail 0845 7740740
Sainsbury's Bank 0845 3055888
Sky 0870 2404040
Tesco 0845 6040409
3Mobile 07782 333333

DON'T PRESS ANYTHING
Carphone Warehouse 0870 111 7400
Onetel 0800 957 0523
P&O 08705 212121
Southern Electric 0845 7444555
Southern Water 0845 2720845
Virgin Holidays 0870 220 2707

ENTER WRONG MOBILE No 3 TIMES
Orange 450 from Orange mobile

PRESS <*> <0> EACH TIME YOUHEAR AUTOMATEDVOICE
BT 0800 800 150

PRESS <0> THREE TIMES SLOWLY
T-Mobile 0845 412 5000

As the Sky cheat really helped me out, it's only fair to post the link for more stuff

Life's Rich Tapestry

Life's Rich Tapestry...

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full?
They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was.

The students laughed as the professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

"Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognise that this is your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health,your children - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff.
If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal."
"Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

But then...

A student then took the jar which the other students and the professor agreed was full, and proceeded to pour in a glass of beer. Of course the beer filled the remaining spaces within the jar making the jar
truly full.

The moral of this tale is:

That no matter how full your life is, there is always room for BEER.

Fresh Fish

See Basil's Egyptian diving holiday snaps. There are some really nice photographs here - well done Baz!. Personally, I just couldn't pluck up the courage to scuba at my last opportunity. Snorkelling was cool enough for me until someone announced the arrival of a stingray, and there was no way I was staying to enjoy that [those things sting].

[Smirnoff] Ice Age

My aprehension for the shenanigans that occurred on Saturday evening was well founded. A good time was had by most, although I think some enjoyed themselves far too much [you know who you are]. Spilled drinks quickly came and went, followed soon after by tantrums and leaving the party - and we hadn't even left the first pub!

A number of piggy backs later, far too many B52's, beer and Smirnoff Ice's and we've had a great time; rolling in at around 4am to polish off the pizza we left on our departure. It seems no-one fancied the planned drinking games after all.

The next morning revealed some monster hangovers and the birthday boy looking decidedly green around the gills. Personally, I'll only claim tiredness and neckache [damn Bohemian Rhapsody]

Roll on the next one.

Road Rage?

During my trip driving to the gym on Saturday, I managed to annoy another driver by changing lanes on a notorious roundabout. After the usual flash of headlights, I noticed the car follow my next turn. My slight concern grew when it followed my next move and grew further still when it followed in to the car park at the gym.

I travelled through one lane of parked vehicles, passing available spaces and still the car followed, intimidatingly. Eventually parking my car, the car stopped behind me and blocked my exit. Before I could see the occupier, he was at my window; I turned to wind down the electric window and as I did recognised an old school friend. "Hello mate!".

"You drive like a nutter!", he says. "Sure, like you've never done that before?". "Yeah, all the time. I thought I recognised you so I followed you to say hello. Nice car - you're obviously doing alright for yourself."

At this point a third car pulls up and as he's blocking the road, we exchange goodbyes and he leaves. I realise that I'm shaking with adrenaline in anticipation of a fight, or at least an argument and exchange of 'pleasantries'.

Will I learn to not cut people on that roundabout? Unlikely. And I'm sure I'm far from alone.

Universal Media Disc 'another Sony bomb'

From ZDNet

Benjamin Feingold, president of Sony Pictures Home Entertainment, was a big believer in PSP as a movie-watching platform. He still is, even though he concedes that retail shelf space for UMD movies is on a sharp decline and his own studio is being "more selective" in choosing movies for UMD release.

Feingold believes the PSP's biggest drawback as a movie-watching device was the inability to connect the gadget to TV sets for big-screen viewing, "which would have made it more compelling," as well as the inclusion of memory stick capability.

"I think a lot of people are ripping content and sticking it onto the device rather than purchasing," he said.

But next week, Sony Computer Entertainment executives will begin making the rounds of the Hollywood studios to discuss plans for making the PSP able to connect to TV sets.

"We're hoping the format's going to be reinvigorated with next-generation capability that may include living-room or normal television playback," he said.

"Reinvigorating?" Boy, I know technology moves fast, but this thing's only been out a year!

[I guess they did come up with Betamax and did so well with Minidisc too]

Always the Last Place You Look

What a ridiculous statement. Of course it's always the last place you look. You're hardly likely to look elsewhere once you'd found it, now are you.

A colleague this week lost his wallet. Looked everywhere. In and around the office. In the car, especially down the side of the seat. At home. Everywhere. After a couple of days, he took the plunge and called each card issuer and cancelled each card. No small task. No wallet. No cards. No money.

Two further days pass. The first replacement card arrives. The wallet is discovered. Now how in the hell did his wallet fall and land here? And how did it not fall off whilst he wheeled around the office?

Moderately Gigantic One

Southampton is the venue for the Burf's birthday bash. It sounds like a moderately gigantic affair with about 12 of us going out. As there'll be females of the species in attendance, it's almost certain to get messy for one reason or another.


I'll be looking forward to it as I've not had an night out on the lash for a while. I'm discounting the night out with my beautiful wife last evening as that's a whole different kind of enjoyment. We spent a fun evening at the casino on an introduction evening. After doing my spare change on roulette, I managed to double up on a stack on blackjack at end the evening (what are the chances of three players drawing 18 and the dealer going bust?).

I so wish I hadn't

Of a Sunday evening, two bottles of red wine is far too much. Especially when they're preceeded by six beers. My noggin has been seriously unforgiving today. If you look up binge according to the governments 'how to be a model citizen', my guess is that six beers and two bottles of red wine in one session would probably be listed. Ho hum. Bovvered.

Finally - Some News on Sky HD

So, for months I've been trying to find out how I get Sky HD. What's it going to cost? When can I get it? How much is the box?

The call centre, when you can eventually get through, can tell you nothing. Nada. Zip. Squat. Diddly. Nice marketing, creating some real desire and anticipation. Clever. Anyway, after asking three times in six months, I eventually get told about a page where I can register my interest in Sky HD. Fantastic.

Click, click. Ooh, that looks nice. How much? [No information] When [No information] Sigh.

Sign up and you'll be the first to know.

Waits [im]patiently

An Email landed in my inbox today. Sky HD News. You can pay a deposit of £30 and we'll call you to arrange your installation during May. Just in time for the World Cup. [Where do I sign?].

Prior to signing up - is the BBC broadcasting HD? I really want to watch the World Cup in glorious High Definition TV. After some searching (you'd think it wuld be more obvious a marketing campaign by the Beeb), I established that indeed they would be broadcasting their first HD programme, Germany v Costa Rica on 09 June 2006.

Finding £2,000 for the TV I would like is all that remains now. And to redecorate the lounge after mounting the new plasma on the wall.

Wheels

So I finally got myself some new wheels. The Audi A4 was getting a little long in the tooth with 149K on the clock and, despite it being a seriously reliable vehicle, it was time for a change - I just got the feeling that I was pushing my luck on it keeping on going without something major going wrong.

Who am I kidding? I guess I can tell myself that as much as I like, but I'm just like most guys, once I'd considered it long enough, looked through Autotrader and dreamed for long enough, I really just wanted a new toy. Everything else is justification I guess.

Well, who cares. I deserve it. And I'm damn pleased with it, despite the fuel consumption.

I also managed to squeeze a private plate in on my budget.

There have been a few small problems that the garage have been perfectly happy to resolve, to their credit. Although I'd expect nothing less, let's be fair.

Knipe's Stag

Ok gentlemen, it's time to get the ball rolling for Rob's stag do and I have been installed as the planner of all things beer related.

Proposed trip details are as follows:

Location:

Newquay

Activity:

Days surfing tuition (Sat).

Dates:

Friday 3rd June - Sunday 5th.

Half day on the Friday would be good so that we can get down there in good time.

Cost (depending on numbers)

To include - Minibus, 2 nights B&B, 1 days surfing tuition and kit hire

£95 each

That's based on 10 people. The more that go (up to 17), the cheaper the minibus.

What's not included:

Petrol for the minibus

Beer money. We can do a kitty when we are there.

Food (other than breakfast)

Payment (the pain in the arse bit)

I think the easiest thing to do would be send me post dated cheques when we have the final figures and deposit amounts. No 'pay on the days' :)

I'll get back to you about this when I get final numbers.

Can you all get back to me with a 'wouldn't miss it!' or 'Sorry can't swim*' response ASAP as I'm gonna need to book this up soon as it will be a busy time of year.

Attendance is compulsory BTW...

Ian.

*it does say on the surf school web site that you have to be able to swim 50m.

Alotments

Why is it that alotments are called so? They are tiny gardens. Maybe they should be called alittlements.